The Only Good Troll is the One Under the Fremont Bridge

S. E. Wigget
3 min readFeb 19, 2022

I had a Reddit account for one week before disabling it. I only created it to promote my writing on more social media, but… nope.

Women’s March 2017 — Because unlike misogynistic trolls, I AM striving to overthrow patriarchy.

ShitforBrains occupies his computer desk in the far corner of his apartment. He’s been online for so long, trolling feminists, that the sun has set and the only light in the room comes from the computer’s glowing screen.

Posting as @TomCatTesticles, he doesn’t bother reading the article linked in one feminist’s post. He just reads the title, “Patriarchy is Infuriating.” So he comments, “Then get off your ass and do something about it, stupid bitch. Not! LOL!”

Next he finds a post on another feminist’s account and comments, “LOL — looks like someone’s been triggered! That’s fucking hilarious!” Chuckling until he snorts, he pushes, “Send.”

The immediate response on the screen is, “Oh, look! It’s a sociopathic white male supremacist! How utterly pathetic and devoid of any redeeming quality! Also, you should have been aborted.”

He frowns, trying to come up with a response. They’re not supposed to insult him like that. He’s supposed to have the upper hand and make them feel like shit, not the other way around.

As he puts his fingers back on the keyboard, he hears a loud crash behind him, as his front door falls in. It’s a studio apartment, his first place after moving out of his parents’ house. He turns around and wets himself at sight of the demon looming in the doorway.

The demon is about seven feet tall. It has enormous fangs and claws and is covered in blood-red scales. It’s somewhat humanoid in appearance, standing on two long legs. It raises its claws and steps toward ShitforBrains.

ShitforBrains jumps up out of his chair, knocking it over with a loud crash, though not as loud as that of the demon breaking in his door. ShitforBrains, panting and wide-eyed, darts his eyes around the room in search of a quick exit, since the demon blocks the door.

The demon steps forward. It crosses the small room in a few long strides. It grabs ShitforBrains by the throat and lifts him. He opens his mouth wide in an attempt to scream, but with the claws squeezing his windpipe, he makes scarcely a sound.

S. E. Wigget

Outside Medium, I mostly write fiction, especially paranormal and historical fantasy, under either S. E. Wigget or Susan E. Wigget.