Narcissists Underestimate Empaths

S. E. Wigget
4 min readMar 25, 2024

They underestimate empaths and don’t want us to grow. Misogynists underestimate women and don’t want us to grow.

The front cover of the anthology Becoming Dangerous: Witchy Femmes, Queer Conjurers, and Magical Rebels

I don’t remember what age I was at the time — maybe twelve. I remember I was in the kitchen with my mother and her Mini-Me, my brother. He indicated my jutting chin (I forget how specifically) and said to my mother, “I thought people with strong chins have strong personalities.”

He was accusing me of not having a strong personality.

My mother said something like, “Her personality is stronger than you think.”

It’s true they were both — as usual — talking about me in the third person as though I weren’t present. It’s a bizarre habit of verbally and emotionally abusive relatives. I eventually figured out it’s probably because they don’t want me to reply, and they want their audience to agree with them. The person they’re addressing when insulting me is a flying monkey or another narcissist.

But that’s a bit off-topic. Here’s an important part of that conversation: my narcissist mother actually defended me against Her Favorite, which was rare — and she believed that I have a strong personality.

I don’t remember how I felt about this knowledge, but old memories involve strong emotions — that’s why I have those memories decades later. I was probably…

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S. E. Wigget

Outside Medium, I mostly write fiction, especially paranormal and historical fantasy, under either S. E. Wigget or Susan E. Wigget.🌈 WhimsicalWords.Substack.co