Envy and Competition? What?
In future, whenever someone seems abnormally envious and/or competitive, I shall ghost them.
Chapter 9 of Communion: The Female Search for Love by bell hooks brings up envy and competition. According to hooks, it’s extremely common for women in patriarchal society — even feminist women — to envy other women and be competitive with other women. This surprises and disturbs me. It also reminds me of certain Ani DiFranco lyrics. “Allies,” not “competitors” — I agree with Ani DiFranco that this is what women should (obviously) be. Fortunately, hooks writes about how women can refrain from… doing that.
Hooks writes of women talking among themselves and criticizing other women… because they’re envious and competitive with other women. This conjured a memory — I was probably twelve years old — of listening silent, shocked, and confused while my narcissist mother and her narcissistic sociopath sisters denigrated my Aunt Barbara — my dad’s sister, and of course anyone on my dad’s side of the family was a scapegoat. They were criticizing her because… she had money and a condo and — horrors! — she got a Ph.D.! I could not understand how getting a Ph.D. could be bad. Remembering that incident years later, I pictured the word “ENVY” glowing green on their foreheads.
I don’t generally relate to competition and envy — including competition and envy between…