Chonor House & the Dalai Lama

I visited India and Nepal for the first time on a Buddhist pilgrimage led by Shantum Seth in 2007. The following — which I wrote in Dharamshala, India — is from my 2008 trip.

The Dalai Lama’s throne at his temple in Dharamshala, India

I finally realize that in Shantum I had (not for the first time) subconsciously sought a surrogate mother to make up for my narcissist mother and other narcissist & narcissistic-sociopath relatives. I was still brainwashed by that side of the family a few years ago. I was thirty-three when I finally became disillusioned with them, and these subconscious attempts at finding a surrogate mother are a result.

This trip has proved to me that I must stand on my own and nurture myself instead of seeking someone else to nurture me. You’d think I’d have been conscious of that by now, since I was only four or five years old when I first felt that I was completely on my own. Sometimes I need reminders.

For lunch, we ate on the balcony at Chonor House and listened to the English version of Dalai Lama’s teachings on our radios.

I picked up a Tibetan Independence Movement brochure containing a postcard to send the Chinese government. I must hide it in my suitcase before going to Tibet and refrain from mailing it until I return to the States, because I don’t want to get in trouble with the Chinese government until after I leave Tibet. It won’t do to be kicked…